'TOTTO DAALA'....bana daala

 

                                    


I always take pride in being a Bengali. Bongi, is what my dear friends call me in Punjab with love (pyaar naal), which in fact makes my love for my lineage grow stronger, sharper and sweeter. The rich cultural heritage that Bengalis boast of... indeed needs a salute. One such event where you can get a glimpse of our rich heritage is during our marriages. . 

Bengali marriages are to be experienced to understand and to respect the richness of the culture, which I always talk about fondly. It's nothing but a display of art and culture of the state. Starting from the mandap to everything about the bride and the groom, is artistically executed and presented.

TOTTO (trousseau decoration and presentation) is where the brides family and the grooms family literally scuffle... ‘Yeh kahey mera dekh, toh woh kahe mera.’

Various kinds of trays in all shapes possible, in all materials possible are decorated with all possible styles possible. And the display at the end of it is always breath-taking. One important aspect is that family members  get involved in the whole process of totto decoration and take up their responsibilities according to their forte.

Usually a TOTTO will have clothes (in plenty) for bou (bride), (not so plenty) for (groom), their parents and relatives, saaj goj er jinish (cosmetics), juto (shoes) , purse, baaksho (suitcase) , mishti (sweets) , phol(fruits) , chocolates, mishti doi( yoghurt).

Grooms side has an extra... That big fish that comes dressed as a bride with saree draped, nose pin on and a paan ka beeda(betel leaf). That's the lucky charm by the way in any occasion for us .Fish is a symbol of shubo shubho to us. 

The TOTTO from the grooms side is sent to the brides house on gaye holud day(haldi). Cousins are usually the ones who carry it to the destination.  



The TOTTO from the brides family is sent on the reception day and is called the phoolsojjar (the first night) TOTTO.TOTTO in any bengali marriage turns out to be the most sought after thing after the bride and groom. Every single person would try to get a glimpse of it and then start the series of comparisons..

‘Aamader to besi sundor. Oder eita bhalo na, oita kom etc.. Aamra eto gulo daala baniyechi...ora maatro ei kota’(ours are more beautiful,unka yeh achcha nahi, woh achcha nahi, humara zyada hai unka kum...).Believe me relatives from both the sides get glued to nonstop hush hush conversations of comparisons.

It's a competition, where at the end of the event.. BOTH ARE WINNERS and it’s happy happy times for all.

Thus this November when it was my turn to make Totto Daala for my daughter, I was excited. But staying in Punjab and thinking it to do the Bengali way, was actually being a bongi. But bengalis are bengalis...chaap naina (doesn’t take stress)

Procuring daalas from Bengal was not easy. So whatever I needed to do, had to be from here. Locally acquired and excuted. So in March, my search for thick cardboard boxes started. A friend suggested me to go to the trash sellers and bingo, I was able to buy excellent ,thick, freshly emptied cpu and computer parts boxes from a trash collector at Jagatpura.

The carpenter who was at my home for some renovation came to my further rescue. He helped me cut those heavy cardboards into desired sizes. Next day they themselves couldn't find the half filled fevicol marine container... Yeah, you guessed it right. I had sneaked it out right under their nose.

One by one the TOTTO tray frames started taking shape. It took two months to make around 60 of them...all raw.

                                                          


Don't roll your eyes, the grooms mother who had befriended me 16 years back played her emotional card well. The groom joined her in the atyachaar... You making only for my daughter, what about my son? …and thus the weird number of trays. Le halua.. as they would say in Bengali.

But that was the best part in my ordeal to give my little me of love and affection to my bachchas, I guess.

 Once the raw structure was ready, I painted the trays from the brides side, Red. The grooms side was the haldi colour, yellow. The next step was to transform them into pieces of art. So white stencil art on red and red stencil art on yellow were done. All were ready by October last week. From 15 November we started our packing these daalas(trays). That was the best moments for all of us. Each one would gather in the evening and then amidst cacophony, music and masti, hum sab ney ‘TOTTO DAALA’ SAJA DAALA'.



The tottos daalas were special for both the families. They were kept together side by side on the same day.

Sab ney dekha,sab ney saraha.

 The feeling?

Out of the world.

‘Hum sab ney taal sey taal mila daala,

TOTTO DAALA KHUD sey HI BANA DAALA’

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